Ruth and Boaz: Finding a mate: Biblically

I went through a stack of wedding invitations this morning responding to those that we could attend, and sending my regrets to those where we could not be there. Each of these invites were from former staff at camp. I began to reflect on the Ruth and Boaz story from the book of Ruth and remembered it has been many years since I taught these principles to the summer staff.

We are all for Christian young men and Christian young ladies to be interested in each other; just not on camp time. There is a time and a season for everything, but creating a relationship while being a camp counselor was not one of them. I always told the staff after you are home, and back under your mom and dad's umbrella of authority, then you can begin the process; I want you focused on the campers for the summer. No purpling allowed! (pink and blue make purple so the staff came up with the term purpling)

I smile at all the staff who met at camp that were eventually married. There was a time that our head counselors automatically connected after camp. John Nett and Ivana Zylstra. Tim Olsen and Lori Schaefer eventually married each other. Others were counselors, or kitchen, or maintenance that became interested enough during the summer, that by fall, they were head or heals in like (love). Last month alone, there were 2 weddings of former staff, both on the same day... and they had all met each other in camp... Mary and Jonathan and Bethany and Carson. One of the weddings was held at the camp near the horse barn where Mary and Jonathan met.

Ruth and Boaz did it the right way. Ruth stayed under the authority of her parent (mother-in-law). She did not seek a husband, but obeyed her mother in law and gathered grain in near-by fields. It was only after that Naomi found out that Boaz treated Ruth kindly that Naomi instructed her how to approach her kinsman redeemer properly. The courtship continued until Boaz went through all the necessary steps to redeem Ruth properly. As a result... Ruth and Boaz beget Obed and Obed beget Jesse... and Jesse beget David.... you read the rest of the story in the first chapter of Matthew.

When done properly (Biblically), courtship can produce wonderful results; marriages are blessed. When done without a Biblical model to follow, there is often times heartache and problems that young couples will have to deal with and receive counselling for later on. Who wouldn't want to have a young man come and ask permission to begin to see your daughter? Who wouldn't want a young man to take time to get to know the entire family of the girl he is interested in? Who wouldn't want to have a potential son-in-law that owns his own fields... and house... and not expect mom and dad to provide a roof and bed and food for them after marriage? Boaz did it right!!!

I can remember a counselor from Oelwein church, Jill Evans, who told me after she was married, "We followed the Ruth and Boaz model... and our marriage is wonderful... we involved our parents in the entire process, we remained pure, and my husband honored me by going through the right steps in securing my family's blessing of our engagement." To me that is a pretty good recommendation.

I am not too big on dating; especially for 14 to 18 year old kids; there is no reason for 2 young people to be alone. There are too many emotions and urges that cannot be contained or controlled. Why play with fire when you don't have the tools to keep from getting burned in the end. I would always look for large group activities to let my kids attend; never alone!

Many parents fight me about this; they dated when they were young, and why can't their kids. They can date... but there will be some consequences. I don't believe recreational dating brings anything good...if a kids is bored... get a job. We date to find a mate... and we don't need to find a mate until we are old enough to hold a job and provide for the family... so why get started at something too soon... it is not as if we need practice to get good at dating.

I challenge you to read the beautiful book of Ruth and look at it as a courtship model for your family; if done properly... many generations to come will be blessed.... Ruth and Boaz beget Obed.... and so on!!

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